


Life's Not Fair

by tetskuroo



Series: Haikyuu!! Soulmates [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, I love the thought of Kuroo and Bokuto going to college together if you couldn't tell, M/M, Soulmates, bros for life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:55:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24518791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tetskuroo/pseuds/tetskuroo
Summary: In which Kuroo Tetsurou gets the shortest end of the stick.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Series: Haikyuu!! Soulmates [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1736380
Comments: 3
Kudos: 87





	Life's Not Fair

**Author's Note:**

> I have never really written angst before so I'm sorry if this sucks.  
> As much as I hate to deny it I am a hopeless romantic, but I'm emotional so I wanted to try something new lol 
> 
> also not proofread so please forgive me if there are typos

Sometimes life wasn’t fair. 

The store was out of the flavor of ice cream one would want or they were give the shitty job at work or the person they liked didn’t like them back. Life wasn’t fair, but it wasn’t always a big deal. 

_ Just get over it _ , Kei had always thought. He’d been handed the short end of the stick plenty in life, when it came to his family situation or his mental wellbeing - and he learned to just get over it. To accept it and move on, to keep himself going because nothing was going to fix itself. Kei had learned to work hard to get over himself and make himself feel better because nobody else was going to do it for you. 

There was someone in his life, however, that had been handed an even shorter end of the stick. In this world one of the worst possible outcomes in life was to be born without a soulmate mark, and Yamaguchi Tadashi faced that exact fate. 

They’d thought he was a late bloomer at first. The phenomenon of soulmates was old as time, written in every history book Kei had ever read. For as long as humans could remember soulmates were a thing - people born with one or two or even three marks on their body, names or initials or important pictures pertaining to the person (or persons) that they are meant to be with. 

And though the phenomenon was a tale as old as time there was still a lot humans weren’t exactly sure of. Some people were born with their marks and others took up to five years to appear. There was no correlation between time and person, nothing showing that females received theirs first or last, nothing showing that different regions got theirs earlier. Everyone just got theirs when fate was decided, and humans had learned to accept that. 

It was also completely random for somebody to be born - and grow up - with no mark at all. Had nothing to do with race or gender, familial line or heritage, beliefs or lack thereof. Just random people in the world not actually destined to be with anybody. It didn’t happen often, about 1 in 20,000, but the people were out there, and Yamaguchi Tadashi just so happened to be one. 

He was heartbroken, at first. At the age of six and seven he still held up hope - there was a case of somebody not getting their mark until they were 9, Tadashi could be like them right? 

But years passed and finally the boy faced the fact that he wasn’t like most everyone else. He had no mark, no soulmate, nobody that he was meant to be with in life. Tadashi wasn’t made for love, and nobody was made to love him. It was a tough, terrible reality to face, but he started to accept the fact as he grew up and he tried to be okay. 

Yeah he didn’t have a soulmate but he had a good family, he didn’t have a soulmate but he had friends. And once he let himself really get to know Tsukishima Kei he was glad he didn’t have a soulmate because nobody in the world would ever make him feel how Kei makes him feel. 

*****

“Tsukki! Do you think it is going to rain again today?” 

Kei looked up from the coffee he was stirring to his boyfriend, letting the corners of his lips lift up. Tadashi was shirtless holding up two different shirts on hangers, one more well suited for a nice day out than the other. The blonde knew his boyfriend wasn’t a fan of the poor weather they’d been experiencing lately, and as much as he would  _ love _ to see Tadashi in that cute, floral print t-shirt the forecast did in fact call for rain. A bummer really, on their first day of university.

“76% chance,” he replied, and though Tadashi’s pout was adorable Kei felt bad for having to break the news. “You should still wear the floral print, though - just wear your leather jacket over it in case you get caught outside in the rain.” 

At that the brunet smiled, and though he didn’t show it on the outside Kei felt his heart clench in his chest. It had never made sense to him that someone as cold and standoffish as himself had a soulmate but Tadashi didn’t. 

The shorter male was extremely kind and overbearing in everything he did, always making sure everyone else was okay before he took care of himself. He would run himself dry making sure Kei was happy and taken care of before even thinking of his own needs, and he would do absolutely anything to make sure Kei’s needs were met when the taller male wasn’t feeling well. 

Tadashi was what dreams were made of, the perfect friend and boyfriend, and so beautiful it hurt. His smile sent Kei’s heart wild, his tanned skin shone underneath the sun, and his freckles were like stars on his face - how could he possibly be born without someone to love him forever? And how could Kei not take on that roll, with all that Tadashi had done for him? It all seemed impossible to him. 

“Thank you Tsukki,” Tadashi said, leaning forward to press a kiss to Kei’s nose before turning back to their shared room. 

Kei thought of the mark on his body, the  _ Kuroo Tetsurou _ etched into the skin of his bicep and he felt himself frown. How in the world did he have someone else meant for him when Tadashi was right there? 

*****

At the end of his first day of classes Kei found himself in front of one of the university’s gyms. Taking up volleyball after high school was one of the hardest decisions he’d ever made, but he liked volleyball enough to keep playing it. He’d agreed with himself and Tadashi that if it started to consume too much of his time he would quit, but for now he would try. 

It was loud inside the gym, shoes scuffing on the ground and shouts of ‘mine’ echoing off the walls. Kei let himself walk in despite the feeling that he might be a little late, but when he saw only six people in the gym he figured they were just early. They were playing three on three, and attention was only turned toward him when a spike was blocked and they realized his presence. 

The spiker was still pouting, talking about how his friend should take it more easy on him, two blockers weren't fair when the set was off, but the others had stopped listening by now, walking over to greet Kei. 

“You must be one of the newbies!” The man walking toward him had the worst black hair in the world and a cocky smile on his face, and Kei was immediately annoyed. 

“I’ve been playing volleyball most of my life, I’m only new to your court.” 

And that seemed to be the kind of remark the other man was looking for because his cocky smile only grew larger. “Well, let’s see what all those years have done for you, shall we?” Kei rolled his eyes but it didn’t seem to deter the other’s excitement. “Bro! Care to show the newbie to the locker room?” 

The other man cheered loudly, making his way towards the pair. “Nice to meet you! I’m Bokuto AKA the best spiker in all of Japan!” 

“You technically don’t have that title,” the black haired male mumbled. 

“Bro you don’t have to harsh my vibe like that!” 

Kei groaned internally - what had he gotten himself into? 

*****

Volleyball, though it had seemed like a poor idea at first, ended up being extremely beneficial for Kei. 

He had more friends, a healthy hobby, and a great way to relieve stress. Through the first month of classes he had pushed through the stress of short deadlines and new routines by the exercise that practice provided him, and keeping up with his new teammates was exercise enough  _ without _ the actual volleyball practice mixed in. 

All of his new teammates were loud, excitable individuals, all dead set on becoming better than anyone else had ever been. Though Kei appreciated their enthusiasm - from afar - it was tiring for him to deal with them all everyday. Not in a bad way, and not in a way that Kei was unused to; Karasuno had sent him for a loop time and time again, so Kei was used to it, he was. 

But Bokuto and Kuroo were on completely different levels, and Kei was still learning how to deal with them. 

He’d been surprised at first, to hear that Kuroo’s name was, well Kuroo. He had wanted to ask for a first name to go with it, to see if it was a match, but then he calmed himself down. There were plenty of Kuroos in the world, and even if this was his match, his soulmate, it didn’t matter - Kei had Tadashi, and he could never, ever love someone the way he loves Tadashi. 

After the initial freakout - that he didn’t sense coming from Kuroo at all, he might mention - he began to really take in the team for what it was. He hadn’t known any of the members, because the school’s volleyball team was great, but it wasn’t what the school was known for. People didn’t seek out this university to join the Japan team, even though Bokuto was sure it would get him somewhere professionally.

All in all Kei was getting used to life at university, waking up with Tadashi and coming home to him, going to classes and then practice, letting himself do what he wanted when he wanted, and it was liberating. He was finally feeling happy in life, not held down by his hometown or the mark on his body, and things were looking up. Kei was happy to be living life, but life wasn’t fair was it? 

It was after practice one day in the locker room. Kei had stayed behind to practice a little with Bokuto and Kuroo, something that was becoming usual, and Bokuto had left early, yelling something about his soulmate needing him at home. He had barely changed his clothes before running out, leaving Kuroo and Kei to change alone. This had happened before too, so Kei wasn’t all that worried. 

He was thinking about what to make for dinner when Kuroo decided to disrupt all of the peace that Kei had built for himself. 

“What’s your given name?” Kei had stopped completely, one leg in his pants as he tried to process the question. Kuroo immediately realized his mistake. “I’m sorry, that was very uncalled for!” 

Kei regained his composure quickly, pulling on his pants before turning to face Kuroo. This older male’s face was red, something Kei hadn’t seen often, and it gave him a sense of calm in the mess - at least Kuroo was embarrassed too. “I’m not sure why you’d want to know.” 

Kuroo’s expression changed immediately, from one of embarrassment to one of deep thought, and Kei was unsure how to feel - he’d never seen Kuroo so serious. “You could be my soulmate,” he said, still completely serious, and Kei felt sick to his stomach. This couldn’t be happening, not right now. Not when everything was finally coming together, not when Kei was finally feeling like things were going his way. “I’ve met plenty of Tsukishima, though, so it could just be a farce. But I’m oddly drawn to you, Tsukishima, and I think that this - this might be it, you know?” 

Kei was feeling light headed but he tried his hardest to keep himself together. He had been known as an asshole his entire life, but what he was about to do - nothing compared to this. He’d thought about it when he got with Tadashi and had talked about it with Tadashi, but he didn’t care about breaking his soulmate’s heart, not when he loved Tadashi as much as he did. 

So, he looked straight into Kuroo’s eyes and spoke in a voice that sounded much more brave than he felt in the moment. “Kei. I’m Tsukishima Kei.” The look of excitement, of pure joy on Kuroo’s face made Kei’s stomach knot, but he tried his hardest to fight it.  _ You love Tadashi, _ he reminded himself. “So you must be Tetsurou?” Kuroo’s eyes lit up and he took a step closer to Kei. Kei took one back, and the look of hurt on Kuroo’s face did something to his heart that made Kei want to hug the man across from him. “B-But I’m in love with someone already, Kuroo-San.” 

The sudden use of the honorific made Kei’s mouth taste bitter - Kuroo had asked for it to be dropped the first week of them knowing each other. Kuroo’s face paled. He stepped back until his back hit the lockers and then he let himself slide until he was sitting on the floor, head down. “Do you have two marks?” he asked a minute later. 

Kei let himself sit too, across the room from his soulmate. “No,” he admitted. Kuroo flinched at the answer, and Kei decided that even though he didn’t want to explain, he wanted to run and never speak to Kuroo again, it was the least he could do - he was breaking his soulmate’s heart. “Ta-Yamaguchi,” he corrected, the years of calling his boyfriend by his first name showing through. 

“Yamaguchi was born with no mark, and he never got one,” Kei said, the words bitter on his tongue. It still seemed impossible to think of no matter how much he thought of it. “It’s absurd to think about because he is the nicest, most caring, stupidly selfless person in the world.” Kuroo picked his head up, letting his chin rest on his knees. He was distraught, heart broken, and Kei didn’t know how to fix it. “I’ll stop, that’s probably no-”

“Nah, tell me the story.” 

Kei looked unsure but he continued anyway. “He became my best friend - ever since we were six he has been my best friend, and I fell in love with him. He has been there with me through everything and I don’t know what I would do without him,” he admitted. The thought of Tadashi made his stomach turn and Kei was sure he was going to throw up. How was he going to spill this Tadashi? The boy had always been insecure about Kei finding his soulmate, what was he going to do now that Kei actually had? 

“Could it be platonic?” It felt like a stab to Kei’s heart, and he was sure Kuroo felt it too. “They’re all the same, right? Even aromantic people have marks sometimes, so there are platonic ones out there.” 

Kuroo forced a smile, “yeah, that’s probably it. I’m excited to be your friend, Tsukishima.” 

*****

It definitely wasn’t it. 

Tetsurou hates himself for that conversation that day; he hates himself for asking, hates himself for saying to continue the story, hates himself for agreeing that it was platonic. It was three months later and this feeling in his chest wasn’t leaving. Kei was  _ it _ \- he was snarky and cute and brave. He always took care of Tetsurou in small ways - asking how he was, bugging him when he knew the man was lying, fed him when Tetsurou swore he wasn’t hungry, pushed him past his limits, and believed in him. He wasn’t good at showing how much he cared, and Tetsurou didn’t ask him to be. He could see it in all of the small things that Kei did for him, and it made Tetsurou hurt to know that they were all done in a friendly manner. Tetsurou couldn’t hold Kei’s hand or kiss his face or go to bed with him or wake up with him and it was tearing him apart. 

Tetsurou would watch Kei every chance he got - when they were warming up and Kei would go for a spike or a block, when they would block out Bokuto or one of the other spikers, when his shirt would move just right and Tetsurou could see his name there, etched into Kei’s skin. He saw every small smile that Kei made to everyone, every little laugh and it made a pang of jealousy shoot through Tetsurou when anyone else made his soulmate laugh or smile. 

It was stupid, just an insecurity of his speaking, but knowing that Kei was happily in love with someone else made Tetsurou unnecessarily angry over every little thing that happened and he didn’t know how to control it. 

He couldn’t eat because of nerves and he couldn’t sleep because he was sad and he was just falling apart as a whole. 

Kenma, who lived with his childhood friend, noticed soon after it had happened and tried his hardest to talk some sense into his best friend. It didn’t matter, though - Tetsurou was stubborn, not giving up without a fight, and Kenma was growing tired of it. 

One night - or morning, since it was 2 AM - Kenma found Tetsurou on the couch, wide awake with his eyes on the ceiling, sad songs playing through the speaker on the end table. The sad song ended only for another to start, and Kenma found himself sitting in front of the couch, his back to Kuroo. 

“Why are you out here?” 

“Bed is too big, it’s lonely.” 

“And why are you still up?” 

“I’m sad.” 

Kenma let his head fall back, turning it to look at his best friend. “How long are you going to let yourself be sad?” 

Tetsurou looked at his best friend for a moment before looking back to the ceiling. “I’m not sure how to stop being sad,” he admitted, clenching his eyes shut. He could feel the tears coming, the sad thoughts flooding into his head again with the words of the song, and he just wanted to turn his brain off. “How am I supposed to stop thinking about how my soulmate is an amazing, snarky man, with beautiful legs and bright eyes and he goes home every night to someone else? To someone that isn’t his soulmate? 

“And how do I stop myself from thinking so unfairly towards Yamaguchi - I find myself so mad at him, Ken, and I’ve only met him once.” The day he met Yamaguchi was the first time he let himself cry over the whole predicament. The boy was everything Kei had said and more, all bright smiles and polite gestures even though he knew Tetsurou was the person in the world meant to be with his boyfriend, meant to be with Kei. 

“I’m getting eaten up by jealousy and sadness Kenma, and I don’t know how much longer I can do it. Even just him smiling at me makes me sad because I start thinking about kissing him but I'm not allowed to do that - everything is sent to the negative in my brain and I don’t know what to do about it.” 

It felt good to say it out loud but now he just felt even more idiotic because what was wrong with him? He knew Kei was taken, he knew that he wasn’t going to get a chance so why did he keep getting his hopes up? Why did he keep hoping that Kei would call him and say they could be together? Why did he dream about him and Kei together, living in a small cottage with cats, or even in the city they’re in now, together in a run down apartment, taking care of each other until they grew old together? Why couldn’t Tetsurou stop thinking of Tadashi, wishing he was Tadashi so that he could have Kei talk about him like that, have Kei  _ love  _ him like that. 

Kenma didn’t know what to say - there was nothing to say. Kenma had a soulmate mark and a soulmate that loved him, he’d never be able to understand what his best friend was going through, couldn’t even come close to imagining it. He did what he could instead. He crawled onto the couch with Tetsurou, letting himself slot into the spot between his best friend and the back of the couch. He thanked whatever was in charge of match making that he ended up with Shoto because right now Tetsurou needed him and he knew his soulmate would understand. 

***** 

Kei pointed it out four months later, tired of the constant negative energy they had between them. 

“I think our friendship is making you worse.” 

_ It is, _ Tetsurou wanted to scream, wanted to shout it from the rooftops. He wanted to tell Kei he was dying on the inside and he just wanted to hold Kei’s hand and take a nap with him. He wanted to tell him everything, about how his appetite still hadn’t returned and he still didn’t want to sleep in his bed because he just thought about Kei being there with him, and then he thought about Kei being in bed with Yamaguchi and it kept him up all night. 

He wanted to tell Kei all about his life, about his father and his grandparents and Kenma, how amazing they all were, how much they would all love Kei because Tetsurou loved Kei. He wanted to hear all about Kei’s life, wanted to know about his family and his hometown, what kind of food he liked to eat and what made him want to vomit. He wanted to know why Kei loved museums so much and what kind of music he liked to listen to - wanted to, _needed_ to know it. They were soulmates, it was only fair right? 

Except it wasn’t. 

Kei was in love, happy with Tadashi, and who was Tetsurou to tear that apart? They weren’t platonic soulmates, he knew that from the love he felt in his heart and the pain Kei unintentionally caused him whenever he even looked at Tetsurou. However Kei was happy. It wasn’t fair to Tetsurou, but who would he be to try to actively tear it apart. 

So, instead of saying everything he wanted to say he smiled at Kei with tears in his eyes. “I’ll be okay, I promise. It’s gonna take a while but I promise I’ll be okay. Just please don’t stop being my friend.” It was a plea, and he wasn’t even close to ashamed. He’d get on his hands and knees to beg if that’s what it took - he just didn’t want Kei to leave him. 

They were soulmates, afterall. 


End file.
